This week can go back. I would like a refund.
I have been swimming- no...drowning in a pool of estrogen for days on days dealing with sassy 18 year olds who think that they are somehow magically too good for already established sororities despite their national history and local success. Oh Im sorry, I guess I missed the memo of where you were the hottest thing since the microwave in your hometown, honey, but here you are in a crowded room full of the best of the best and if multiple chapters dropped you from recruitment then dry it up, homegirl, it means that they didnt want you. There I said it. I know you "didnt think that it would happen to someone like" you, but it did. They didnt want you, but other chapters saw something in you, I dont know how, but they have given you an invite- it would behove of you to accept it. gees. No sympathy pains for you ma'am. Tough titty said the kitty when the milk went dry.
Rant Over.
Those hormones were unpleasant....yes I mean my own. It was an emotional cluster cuss.
Then I found out that my favorite family, The Walkers, that moved 5 hours away to a new campus and moving to freaking St. Louis to go to God's chosen seminary school...Covenant Theological Seminary School. As sad as it is that they are moving farther away and leaving staff, I am overjoyed because they are fulfilling a dream and I am SO PROUD. Hopefully, we will be there too in a decade or so. Woohoo!
Meanwhile, my body is still of kilter and I am exhausted and mean inside. Labor Day 2013 should be entitled "Everything Makes Me Cry"...sweet time with the Walkers, gifts from Brady's mom, seeing all my sororities do amazing in recruitment-even if one left effin boa feathers all over the ground for me to pick up...Ill kill them next week.
I eventually have an emotional breakdown, of course, in the parking lot at some point and Brady consoles me by telling me to 'dry it up' WHAT YOU DRY IT UP WHO ARE YOU THE DEAD SEA???
A good nights rest should do the trick right? No. Long first day of fraternity recruitment = me driving a 14 passenger van for the first time in my life and then going to day one of Pre-engagement Counseling.
Counseling was AWESOME. We answered questions, we asked questions, we told of Gods faithfulness to bring us into Himself through salvation, and to each other and how much we love each other. TEARS. MORE TEARS.
I sneak into the house Im living in around 11:22pm and sound like a burglar (its my first night in with the whole family) and startle the master of the house...fortunately he didnt tackle me. Unfortunately, this did send me over the edge...the edge of my anxious awkwardness. I didnt sleep and worried and worried about what I had done and what they could be thinking so I did what rational, emotional, looney tunes person would do- I wrote a letter. A dramatic telling of I love yous, and your were rights, and I feel awkward, and I'll find another place to live. It really is too bad that all the girls my age are off moving to China or Australia or Ohio or Marriedland. I have been praying for months to find a delightful home in which a family wanted to let me live in their basement in exchange for some child care or something, since my job pays me in tuition and office supplies I cant afford rent on my own. Oh cruel world! This was going to work out great. Only it wasnt. Because I am weird. But thats ok. I will calm down and hopefully my hormones will level back out and oh...hey I am having kidney stone surgery in the morning. Craaaaaaap.
Maybe I will at least say some funny stuff under the anesthesia....
I am thankful that we are starting a book study at the church on this book about women's issues
She's Got Issues: really good news for stressed out secretly scared control freaks like us.
Yes, lets please address this clustercuss of issues: control, insecurity, comparison, anxiety, fear, and anger- and its ugly cousin, unforgiveness.
Here we go. I am so glad that there is redemption in this broken and messed up life I'm rollin in.
Goodnight. so long kidney stone.
I have the best boyfriend ever. Glory be to God.
