what now

I have been struggling this week, obviously. Thinking about purpose, direction, hope, and the gospel.

And the Lord is working. He is disciplining me right now. I am not done. I still don't get it. And it is hard. But it will be sweet someday. Hopefully soon. But the alas, the Lord knows how much my heart can take.
 And it is up to Him how to refine it like gold.



When I am believing lies, what I can bank on are these:

1. Jesus is real.
2. He loves me enough to pay for my sin and give me His righteousness. I will never know why. Its a mystery.
3. He has used His position as Son and Heir to God to justify ME before the Father, Creator of the world, and Just King.
4. This Father King has thrown out my sin debt and miraculously I am no longer liable for this death that I owe.
5. I have the clean record of the perfect Son, and am also an Heiress of the King.
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!!!
6. As He gloriously reminds me of these things, I am being sanctified. Which means that I am being made more like Jesus.
7. I will never get this on my own, and will have to be reminded of these things every day for peace.
8. I am being disciplined in the Father's love... to love the things He loves and hate the things He hates- not to withhold good things from me, but to protect my heart from evil things.
9. Growth is hard.
10. I can never be snatched from His hands.

This is the gospel.

"When heart is breaking, Heaven stands. When my world is shaking, I'll never leave your hands..."