Conversion

so yeah, since the Lord decided to have me as His from, you know, the moment He created...the world!, He has been planning to pursue me my whole life. I was dead. But now I am alive. When did I become a believer? I have pondered this myself for a few years.

 Because frankly, since I have been learning about who the Lord is, I have been discovering more things about Him, the depths of His love for me, the gravity of His sacrifice to have me, and the enormity of the cross and the grace that it sheds on me daily. And I selfishly, oh so selfishly, think that since I have grown up in the church that I should know pretty much everything. As soon as I got to college and I continued doing the churchy things, I was graciously exposed to much teaching about the Lord and what it means to be a christian. To be a believer.
I mean, I wanted to be offended that I didnt know some things already, like the beauty of sanctification and the peace in His sovereignty, but the Lord softened my heart event to that. I have been growing in my walk with Him since I began living my life for Him and His glory rather than for my own glory in the eyes of my 'super spiritual friends' back home. Even they betrayed me. But humans will because of our sin. Thats ok. Expected even.

So what does all this mean? Why am I awake thinking about my beautiful, glorious, privileged conversion after reading the hunger games trilogy all day, because that story enough is certainly wild enough to have my mind going for days in vapid imagination...

Its the fact that I have come to the remarkable conclusion that He has been pursing me my whole life.
There are glorious examples of how the Lord has tended to my care that I know Him since I breathed my first breath, no since I was in the womb. I was His and He had to have me. Nothing can take me from His hands. And being around His grace kept me searching for it immensely. Once He exposed me to it fully to bring me into Himself, it was an irritable force that was the beauty of the Cross, and attractiveness of the Holy Spirit that drew me in and held me close as He breathed life into me. Supernatural life. Life that I didnt ask for or couldnt get for myself even if I knew life existed to try for.

I was totally dead in my sin and He came to save me from my sin and show me how to live, truly show my how to live with joy and abundantly. He is showing me how to continue to repent of my sin, believe in Christ forgiveness, and fight against my evil sin patterns in an effort to glorify Him more.

This is truly a mystery. I will never understand it. I will never earn it or remotely deserve it. Its so wild that this kind of life exists at the height of a dramatic rescue into the Kingdom.

Let us continue to embrace this by resting in His covenantal promise. Let us spend every day pouring out our live to others to alleviate pain and brokenness that we all feel over sin. The Body of Christ driven by the Holy Spirit works together marvelously to mend our hearts and point us to the truth of the gospel. How important are we?

This is for Heather :)