My Father's Daughter

In sunday school we are discussing the legacy of biblical womanhood and its dire importance. This week we covered what being a daughter means. We were asked to share what emotions were sparked within us upon hearing what the word 'daughter'. It can be a powerful trigger word and can very easily trigger an array of feelings from disappointment, longing, love, appreciation, obligation, responsibility, guilt, worry, excitement, fulfillment...

For me, now it brings me security.

I think its used to remind me of my insecurity. But I didnt realize that years ago before the Lord gave me peace and some healing in order to allow me to see my security rests in Him alone.

But since I lost my dad, I think that hearing the word daughter just reminded me that I used to be a the oldest daughter of a sweet Daddy. Its painfully lonely now just thinking through what this means.

A few years ago, I began really dealing with the loss of my Dad. Ouch.

As I was learning that as a woman, I am innately dependent on a man, I became aware that in my crucial teenage years, I lost out on a lot of security that a father is supposed to give his daughter. The mere presence of a man makes most women feel better, that somehow if her surroundings betrayed her, the man would be the warrior that he was designed to be and rescue her. I think that these are basic instincts.

And so as I began processing this whole security thing, which is way more than one blog post, I began to see where I truly suffered after my dad died that beautiful day on that stupid motorcycle. I missed his guidance, his telling me that I am worth love, and him leading me spiritually. Of course, I got this from my mom, pastor, and family. But to hear these things from a man, from your Daddy makes you feel built up like no other. None can compare with the relationship between a Daddy and his Daughter.

So now I think that the word 'daughter' reminds me of just how secure I am in Christ because He made it possible for me to get to the Father who has been watching me and pursuing me since before I was born, since before my dad was gone and He would have to really show me how to be dependent on Him alone.

I look for security in lots of things, but they rarely give me the satisfaction that I long for and its always fleeting. But by grace, I have been given new life, adopted by the Father King and nothing can snatch me from His hands.

As I realize that all the moments of suffering, from severe to tolerable to seemingly none at all, my sweet Jesus has been providing for me and giving my His security along the way.

The difference in joy and happiness is that there is still joy in suffering.