JUST LET ME FEEL MY FEELINGS OK

I have been in THE weirdest mood all day. Lots of fluctuating feelings. WTF?

Everything just made me mad. I had a fantastic morning, and great day. And then the afternoon came.

Maybe it was hormones. This would make sense since it is shark week. But holy cow. I was greatly aggravated, by the wind blowing the blinds, the way I was sitting, the smell in the apt, the book I'm studying, the non-solitude in the room, the sleepiness in my eyes, the hunger in my middle, the money I don't have, the job I do have, the food in the fridge, the crafts I hadn't made yet...such unnecessary aggravators, but aggravators none the less. Whatever, today I was happily the typical moody female.

Just call me EVE, trying desperately to control my surroundings only to find that I cannot because they, and I, belong to God anyway and I needed to stop distrusting Him and loving Him instead....

Today I have relished in the freedom that I can just feel whatever emotions that I want to feel and just deal with them. Emotions are real. All of them. So why do we, especially as christians, always feel guilty for feeling negative emotions like anger, sadness, frustration, loneliness, disappointment, aggravation, or skepticism.
I am currently exploring the reality that though all these may not be holy, they do all exist under God and He is not particularly surprised when we experience emotions. True, we shouldn't take the consequences of feeling angry out on others and this could lead to a need for repentance if sin occurs, but it is perfectly normal to have a day where you just feel crabby.

A reality I realized today is that, these emotions passed through Jesus to get to me. And now I have them, and surely He knows how to deal with them.

It is a lie from the evil one that I should feel condemned for my negative emotions. When, in fact, I am often wearing myself out by trying to suppress my unwanted feelings. Yes this makes sense. A lot more sense than me feeling like I want to simultaneously pick a street fight, craft beautiful things with my hands, scream at the top of my lungs, and have an intense romcom cryfest anyway...

I enjoy being such a feeler (ESFJ) that even though I base my decisions on how I feel about something, I can also sit in an array of emotions and enjoy them all.

The End.

Not really, I'll have so many more emotions oh so soon....