No more waiting...

I have had some interesting conversations lately about this "True Love Waits" thing lately, then read a blog that made me start to wonder and feel convicted...

What’s it “waiting” for, anyway?

I am working with the youth girls at my church now, and I want them to be waiting for marriage for true love and all that jazz but more than that I want to see them love Jesus.


I am afraid that there are a lot of girls out there who don’t know who God is anymore – the God of their youth group years just isn’t working out. I am seeing this with the college women that I am working with and have grown with. Back then, that God said to wait for sex until you are married, until He brings the right man along for a husband. I am beginning to be concerned with those of us who signed a card and put it on the altar and pledged to wait.

And wait we did.



And waited and waited and waited.

Some of them have prayed their whole lives for a husband, and he hasn’t shown up. We have heard it all, heard the advice to “be the woman God made you to be, focus on that, and then the husband will come.” They’ve read “Lady in Waiting,” gotten super involved in church and honed their domestic skills.

And still they wait.

They hold onto a poem written to them from “God” they received in Sunday School that said, “The reason you don’t have anyone yet is because you’re not fully satisfied in Me. You have to be satisfied with Me and then when you least expect it, I’ll bring you the person I meant for you.”

“You’re right, God,” they say. “We’re not satisfied in you yet. We will put you first and then you can bring us a husband in your timing.”

Its scary that this is actually wrecking our view of God.

If this is who God’s supposed to be, then He’s tragically late.

So some decide to chuck “Lady in Waiting” out the window … and possibly their virginity with it. What next? Church... God might go next, too. If He doesn’t answer these prayers after they’ve held up their end of the bargain, why would He answer any others?

Whether it was the fault of the leaders, the fault of us girls, or both, a tragedy has happened.

A lot of girls were sold on a deal and not on a Savior.



Who wrote that poem anyway?

Pretty sure it wasn’t God.

When Jesus was here on the earth, the crowds would follow Him because they saw He gave good things. But that’s not what He wanted. He wanted their hearts for Himself. So He would turn to them and say things like, “If you don’t love Me so much that every other relationship in your life looks like hate by comparison, you can’t follow Me.” (Matthew 10:34-39)

That sounds a lot different from the poem.

Christ is the source of everything we need and the giver of all good gifts … but in telling people about Him, it’s possible we’ve sold them on a solution for life’s problems and not life itself.

What if we as girls had learned early on that having Him was everything, not a means to the life we think He would want us to have.

If we had learned we don’t abstain from sex because we’re “waiting.” We abstain because we love Him.

If I’d learned, “Fall in love with Jesus.” That’s it. Bottom line. That’s everything you need to know, to work toward, to put your hope in.

If I’d learned who He is, what He wants, how to give Him everything, not “wait” so that one day I could give my everything to someone else.

If I’d learned that it’s not bad to pray for a husband, but that my greater prayer should be for Him to spend my life as He chooses for His glory.

If we as believers make that our message, things could be drastically different for a lot of girls wondering why the God they think they learned to follow doesn’t compute. It doesn’t necessarily stop the desire for a husband or end all feelings of loneliness, but it does show a God who provides, loves and gives infinite purpose even to our singleness rather than a God who categorically denies some who pray for husbands while seemingly giving freely to others.

It shows that while marriage is good, He is the greater goal.

I dont want to live like I am waiting for something... waiting on anyone to get here.

I already have Him … and He is everything.