Conversion

so yeah, since the Lord decided to have me as His from, you know, the moment He created...the world!, He has been planning to pursue me my whole life. I was dead. But now I am alive. When did I become a believer? I have pondered this myself for a few years.

 Because frankly, since I have been learning about who the Lord is, I have been discovering more things about Him, the depths of His love for me, the gravity of His sacrifice to have me, and the enormity of the cross and the grace that it sheds on me daily. And I selfishly, oh so selfishly, think that since I have grown up in the church that I should know pretty much everything. As soon as I got to college and I continued doing the churchy things, I was graciously exposed to much teaching about the Lord and what it means to be a christian. To be a believer.
I mean, I wanted to be offended that I didnt know some things already, like the beauty of sanctification and the peace in His sovereignty, but the Lord softened my heart event to that. I have been growing in my walk with Him since I began living my life for Him and His glory rather than for my own glory in the eyes of my 'super spiritual friends' back home. Even they betrayed me. But humans will because of our sin. Thats ok. Expected even.

So what does all this mean? Why am I awake thinking about my beautiful, glorious, privileged conversion after reading the hunger games trilogy all day, because that story enough is certainly wild enough to have my mind going for days in vapid imagination...

Its the fact that I have come to the remarkable conclusion that He has been pursing me my whole life.
There are glorious examples of how the Lord has tended to my care that I know Him since I breathed my first breath, no since I was in the womb. I was His and He had to have me. Nothing can take me from His hands. And being around His grace kept me searching for it immensely. Once He exposed me to it fully to bring me into Himself, it was an irritable force that was the beauty of the Cross, and attractiveness of the Holy Spirit that drew me in and held me close as He breathed life into me. Supernatural life. Life that I didnt ask for or couldnt get for myself even if I knew life existed to try for.

I was totally dead in my sin and He came to save me from my sin and show me how to live, truly show my how to live with joy and abundantly. He is showing me how to continue to repent of my sin, believe in Christ forgiveness, and fight against my evil sin patterns in an effort to glorify Him more.

This is truly a mystery. I will never understand it. I will never earn it or remotely deserve it. Its so wild that this kind of life exists at the height of a dramatic rescue into the Kingdom.

Let us continue to embrace this by resting in His covenantal promise. Let us spend every day pouring out our live to others to alleviate pain and brokenness that we all feel over sin. The Body of Christ driven by the Holy Spirit works together marvelously to mend our hearts and point us to the truth of the gospel. How important are we?

This is for Heather :)

oh la la, its march y'all

What have I done this week? Been totally productive, thats what. Im really taking this learning to sew thing seriously and Im pretty pumped about it. I found some pretty fabric in the salvation army last week, and some awesome fabric in a craft store. These paired with my craving to be useful and nearly idle hands, and a pattern for direction of course, and I have a plan for my own clothing!! They truly are going to be my own style and Im thrilled to be making stuff with my own hands.

this pattern:

make these cut outs:

That will soon resemble a dress. 

The pleats on this thing are wild. None symmetrical. But thats my favorite part. I have finished the skirt part, complete with pockets. I just have to figure how to get the waistband securing the bodice to the skirt. Should I finish it in time, I shall debut it to my date to the premiere of the Hunger Games! Whatup!

P.S. #goalupdate... I have read the Hunger Games twice now and will be finally starting on the sequel tomorrow. I have made skirts, and am making this dress. I hemmed all of JLo's curtains. I have been reading Legacy of Biblical Womanhood and really growing in my understanding of covenant calling. And I had a hard conversation with one of my target girls. This has been a prroductive weeeek!

what the what?

Hear ye, hear ye...'Tis the Gospel in its purest form...

"God created us to know and enjoy Him, and we rebelled by trying to be our own gods.

But instead of punishing us as we deserve, He sent His Son to live the life we couldn't and be punished in our place.

Since Jesus was punished in our place, our sin can be forgiven and we can be reconciled to God."

The fact that Jesus arose from the grave says that God accepted His payment for our sin.

Whoa. My Redeemer lives.
He pursues me. He has rescued me.

God is satisfied with Jesus' payment as my own for my own wretched sin. How can this be? Grace.

What could I have done on my own to make myself right with God? Absolutely nothing. For I was dead when I realized that I needed to be made right at all. Christ literally had to do it all for me because I am weak and helpless on my own.

I have nothing good within me...in fact, it is by His grace alone that I am not acting on all my sin in a way that causes my severely evil outbursts in my behavior. No, He is sanctifying my sin and growing me in His image. Thank you, God. Because I am evil, but I truly want nothing to do with evil.

I pray that I will be continuously repulsed by my own sin and grow in a holy affection to seek out Your word and Your work and Your goodness.,.

May my eyes be turned to what stirs my affections for you and not for what pleases myself so often.

Fat Tuesday

Yes, its Mardi Gras day!!! Woohoo celebrate!

This comes from the period of time when it was customary to give up something in a fasting manner for the 40 days before Easter. To fast something would be to replace it with prayer to the Lord in thanksgiving. Carnival was celebrated as the day of celebration of meat or 'carne' as when the people planned to not eat meat for lent. So they really lived it up on fat tuesday! This the culmination of the festivities of Mardi Gras. Such tradition in these events.

I have decided to give up bread. Initially, this is because I have been wanting to cut it out of my diet in an attempt to be eating more 'paleo' if you will, which is more honestly more healthy. Its a diet that is mainly lean meats, fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and no grains or sugars. And Ironically no really beans or corn. Which I hate. But thats beside the point. I hate bread. But I love bread. And so I decided to go until Easter without it.

Then Jessica-Lauren so kindly pointed out that lent began with good intentions, but the world has made it so legalistic, like a new years resolution. We dont really care to substitute our desire for the thing we give up with prayers of thankfulness and repentance. So, I began thinking. And realized my conviction.
Perhaps more importantly, since some of my goals for the year are to make consistent changes toward a healthy lifestyle and be much more intentional with my prayer life, this seems like a great opportunity to do both.

Now may my life be changed!

Thanks Fat Tuesday.

Oh yeah, and my Redeemer. because He will love me just the same if I let Him and myself down with this goal. But I hope to grow in this. More to come.

epic

so i just found this on youtube. youre clearly not a christian if you dont love it and memorize it.

<iframe width="640" height="480" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Ar_k8JjVWQA?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

I guess my attempts at embedding a video are failing. just try this instead.

oh let me run to my redeemer

"Today you'll harden your heart by defending as good the wrongs you've done or you'll run to the forgiving grace of your Redeemer."

I saw this on twitter today. Its making me think a lot.

Im so full of brokenness and sin and that is so evident as a judge the things that come out of my mouth as an overflow of my heart. I am so innately vile that it spills out and disgusts and embarrasses me as it shames me.
But just as this is true of me, so is the existence of a much more powerful saving grace that holds its arms all the way out to me if I can manage to lift my face out of my pillow and receive it. And its so powerful and attractive that if I cant even lift my own face, grace will become my pillow and still do its work on my heart to humble me and soften me.

All goodness comes from Christ. All good in me comes from Christ's sacrifice. I am useless without Him as I am dead without Him. Right in my own trespasses, I lay dead until His sacrifice took root in my heart and allowed me to breath fully and finally alive in Him.

Why do I continue to sin and then be surprised by it?

Let me run to the open arms of grace that is my Redeemer when I feel broken and let down by my sinful self and find rest that He loves me and will sharpen me. Let me find true repentance of my sin and grow.. Let me be sanctified even if its in the painful process of refining gold by submerging it in the fire to remove the dross, my dross.

What happens at Mardi Gras, stays in Mardi Gras...

So I got to experience Mardi Gras the way Mobile does it, and has done it since 1703, which if you know anything about Mardi Gras, you know that it didnt start in nasty New Orleans until 1718. SO there. Not only was being immersed in the culture amazing as I got to participate in the parades, elegant balls, and festivities, but I got to do them with my family. And I got to share my family with some awesome friends from UNA. I had the best weekend ever. One of my life goals is to make more road trips and see more of this worlds culture, and I got to make a mark on that one.

So we arrive in Mobile to stay with my family. Fortunately, they let us have their whole house! They were staying at this amazing hotel called the Battle House, built in 1851, ADPi's say what! Anyway, pretty much the moment we got there, they were itching to initiate us into Mardi Gras and gave us so many presents! Special beads for their mystic societies and themed parties, light up headbands with medusa-like string things, koozies, boas, the works ok. It was great.

Time for the parades. We went to about 4. One before each ball and the saturday ones were bright, long, and bountiful. Members of these societies that host the parades ride on floats that fit into a theme, and they throw many goodies to bystanders, no fabric-free entertainment required. This is the original Mardi Gras in Mobile, after all. The throws are beads, moon pies, stuffed animals, plastic cups, candy, toys- Cher caught a tomahawk! what- peanuts, frisbees, doubloons, roses, and even ice cream sandwiches. It was great fun to see my cousins on their floats in their costumes and masks. On the walk overs before the parade even starts, they hand delivered us bystanders roses and garters and beads. Its tradition.

Then we went to the Ball...twice. As invited guests, we got all fancy in the hotel in our long dresses and tuxedoes and of course beads. All made up we run outside, just in time to call a limousine to taxi us to the party. Apparently, we only do things in style. Once there, we hand our tickets at the door as they quickly inspect that we are dressed appropriately, I suppose. Since my cousins are society members, they are already backstage and we go sit in the balcony to watch the tableau vivant, in which all the members are introduced and there is even a choreographed celebration of the leaders and board members of the society. For my cousin who is in the men's society, we cheered as the board came out in their feathered headdresses and matching colored escort. Then the Inca, the leader and he did his performance as the crowd below threw him doubloons. Then came the queen, in her beautiful white gown and exquisite train. She came to meet her husband as he came down from the ceiling in his fancy costume. They took their tour of the floor in all their elegance. After all the members were introduced in order of their floats and waltzed from the stage to meet the beautiful queen, they dispersed for the party to begin. For my cousin who is in the women's society, we again sat high and cheered for her and her members as similar elaborate introductions took place. They each came out to their song of choice and then the party began. We had food in the rooms belonging to each float group and drinks alike. There were a few different bands. Lots of dancing and merriment to celebrate the season of carnival.

We brought back so many goodies, gifts, masks, and memories!

I am such a lover of culture and tradition, that we all know I ate up every moment of this experience and am likely to return.